I have said often recently that retirement is scarier than anything I've ever done. I don't have anything to fall back on, nor do I have anyone to fall back on like I did when I graduated from high school.

This sculpture is in Lila's funeral home. She said that it is me and her (I know, it should be "it is she and I") when we get old. I think we're there. If not, we're on the threshold. If I could be this happy in my retirement, it would be grand.

Whenever I look at these flashy women, I always think of Aunt Marilyn. Her daughter said that her mother was into flash trash. It's what made her a character. I wish I had the self-confidence to be a character. Life would be more fun, and I would hope that I would put more smiles on people's faces.

I look back on meals at Grandma Jones's house when some of the older people came and told funny--I mean hilarious stories. Thinking about it, I might believe there was some exaggeration, but I loved those stories!! One particular Thanksgiving, Aunt Sis, Grandma, and one of Grandma's friends Goldey Cassidy had everyone laughing so much we cried. I wish I could remember the sayings Grandma would use. I can't even remember a too many of the stories. Why didn't I write those precious stories down? Grandma had a mischievous side to her. I know she led a hard life, but she made some great memories.

Life would be great if from now on I could just hear funny stories. Unfortunately, I know I have many obstacles to conquer before I get to those days. I know if I could find a sugar daddy, retirement wouldn't be such a nightmare.